There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
