I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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