I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
