Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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