is wine microwaveable?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
