He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
