I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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