At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
