i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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