I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
