apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
