Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
