Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
