Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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