My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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