i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize