just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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