I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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