I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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