I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
wow bdsm is so cute
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
