I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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