He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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