i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
