You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
