I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
