I looked at my own cervix.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
