it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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