OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Randomize
