Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Do vagina's smell?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
don't judge my taste in strippers
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
