I cannot find my penis.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
