He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We are two peas in an std pod
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
