i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
