his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
