I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
