Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
