I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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