I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
