The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
