marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
