Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
