is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Randomize
