just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
