I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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