Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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