my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
