you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
