so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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