Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
