I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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