then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
