from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
