wat bout pragnant strippers??
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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