she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you never un-have a 4some
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
